So I keep hearing about this “balanced life.”

Very charming concept.

A lifestyle where you:

• drink water
• reply to messages like a civilised adult
• exercise
• cook nourishing meals
• stay motivated
• maintain relationships
• keep your home clean
• read books
• and somehow also have emotional stability, a skincare routine, and a functioning laundry system

Right.

Anyway, I don’t have that. I have extremes.

I am either extremely functional or a missing person with access to Wi-Fi

There is no in-between. That would be too convenient.

One day I’m replying to messages instantly like:
“Yes!! Absolutely!! Let’s do it!! I am present, accountable, and thriving 😌”

And then I vanish.

Not dramatically. Not intentionally.Just quietly enter “Do Not Disturb: Life Loading…”

Three days later I return like:
“hey sorry xx”

As if I haven’t been spiritually offline since Tuesday.

I am either a self-care goddess or a neglected appliance with feelings

Either:

• skincare routine
• hair done
• hydrated
• glowing
• romanticised morning

Or:

• Living that frizzy hair don’t care life
• Dealing with that question of is that a shadow or a moustache?
• showering being treated like a quarterly event
• general aura of “I forgot I was a person with maintenance requirements”

No gentle middle ground. Only transformation arcs.

I am either highly motivated or mentally buffering like an old laptop

Some days I wake up like:
“Today I will fix my entire life, become disciplined, organised, emotionally regulated, and possibly start a small business.”

Other days my brain is:
“Loading motivation… please wait… still loading… have you tried being less ambitious?”

And I just accept it. What else can you do.

I am either reading everything or reading emotionally

Now let’s talk about reading.

Because apparently some people read every day constantly.

I either:

• read 3 books in a week like I’m in a literary montage, underlining quotes, drinking coffee, feeling intellectually superior

Or

• open a book, read one paragraph, then suddenly decide I need to reorganise my entire life, question my career choices, and maybe check my phone for absolutely no reason

And then the book just… sits there. Judging me quietly from the side table.

Sometimes I pick it up again weeks later and re-read the same sentence like it’s brand new information. It’s not. I’m just jumpstarting my brain again.

I am either spring cleaning like I’m on a home makeover show or pretending chaos is “lived-in aesthetic”

Cleaning mode is intense.

It includes:

• furniture moving
• aggressive organisation
• discovering items I thought were emotionally extinct
• briefly believing I am a disciplined adult

Then suddenly:
stop.

We are done here.

The washing machine has finished its cycle and we are now in a mutual agreement of avoidance.

The truth about “balance”

People talk about balance like it’s calm and steady.

But realistically it’s:

• bursts of productivity
• accidental disappearance
• reading entire libraries or none at all
• replying to messages in geological timeframes
• cleaning like you’re possessed or not at all
• repeating forever

So no.

I don’t have balance,I have switches.Dramatic, unreliable, occasionally impressive switches.

And honestly, if balance ever shows up, I hope it brings instructions.